Designed by 1728 Software Systems
Mullethead     Calculator

In order to evaluate the degree of 'mulletheadedness' a person may possess, the following equation MUST be used:

Input Drapage (length of hair in back)

Input Plumage (length of hair on top)

Click on the gender:

Male     Female

Click on any applicable "accessories":
    Missing Teeth
    Black Concert Tee
    Alcoholic Beverage
    Stone/Acid Washed Jeans
    White Trash Sunglasses (Oakley, et al)
    White Puffy Sneakers (Reeboks, BK's, etc)

Click on the "Freak Factor" of this person:
Not a Freak     Wicked Freakmeister


Evaluating The Mullet Score

Zero - Doesn't have the smallest echo of the faintest chance of even remotely becoming a mullethead. This person is undoubtedly no fun at all. Probably was President of the Audio-Visual Club in High School. Thinks Pat Buchanan is much too liberal.

One to Ten - Just barely registers a very faint blip on the "Mullet Meter". Goes to the barber and requests a Marine style haircut - but much much shorter !!!

Eleven to Fifteen - Has some mullethead qualities but is still a far cry away from true "Mulletdom". This person often gets mistaken for Donny or Marie - or both !!!

Sixteen to Twenty - "Mullethead Wannabe". Tries to be cool and unconventional. But when the chips are down, when all the cards are on the table, when push comes to shove, when things get down to the real nitty-gritty, will usually be found relaxing to the "Easy Listening" FM station.

Twenty-One to Twenty-Five - That's the signpost up ahead... your next stop... the Mullethead Zone"!!! Yes, although the lowest possible qualifying score, this is where true mulletdom begins. People in this category have been known to drink milk one (perhaps even two days) beyond the expiration date !!!

Twenty-Six to Thirty - Getting into some serious mullethead qualities here. Hair is getting so lengthy that when people ask "What happened -- your barber die?", you can truthfully answer "Yeah - 5 years ago !!!"

Thirty-One to Thirty-Five - Hair is getting dangerously long now. Would be well-advised to stay out of the forest during hunting season.

Thirty-Five to Forty - People in this category would qualify for getting their face on the "Mullethead Commemorative Issue Postage Stamp".

Forty-One to Forty-Five - Hair is so long that it requires its own Zip Code. Probably drives a "Harley". Earns "frequent customer" points at the tattoo parlor. Favorite tattoo - "Sworn to Fun - Loyal to None". (By the way, this category applies to some of the mullethead guys too !!!

Forty-Six to Infinity - ?????????

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